• If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
• Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
• If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
• If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
• Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?
• If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
• Why is it called building when it is already built?
• If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
• If you’re not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
• If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
• If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Human ??

Source: Hardware Zone Forums

In Singapore, Ah beng literally means small time gangsters.

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
‘My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610′

Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I’ll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I’ll also stay with your sister.

Ah Beng : People consider me as a ‘GOD’
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today,! everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again.

Ah Beng complained to the police: ‘Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.’
Police: ‘How the thief did not take TV?’
Ah Beng : ‘I was watching TV news…’

Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying ‘Parking Fine’
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole ‘Thanks for complement.’

How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that
on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says ‘Hello, how did you know I was here?’

Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man – This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng – If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

Teacher: ‘I killed a person’ convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is ‘u will go to jail’

Ah Beng told his servant: ‘Go and water the plants!’
Servant: ‘It’s already raining.’
Ah Beng : ‘So what? Take an umbrella and go.’

A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the evening and not in the morning?
Ah Beng replied : Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM.