---
title: Funny Jokes
date: 2006-07-06 09:27:40
permalink: https://lesterchan.net/blog/2006/07/06/funny-jokes/
author: Lester Chan
categories:
  - Blog
---

I seldom post jokes here, but here are some good ones taken from Hardware Zone Forums.

BOY : May I hold your hand?  
GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!  
BOY : You love me…

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??  
BOY : Sure, what’s your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.  
BOY : Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.  
BOY : Don’t you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!  
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!  
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??  
TRACY : I did once. He’d forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.  
WOMAN : Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting?  
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.  
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly. What do u think, Peter?  
PETER : A bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly.

Girlfriend : “…And are you sure you love me and no one else ?”  
Boyfriend : “Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday”.

Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?”  
Pupil : “The moon”.  
Teacher : “Why?”  
Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”.

Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”  
Pupil : “A teacher”.

Waiter : “Would you like your coffee black?”  
Customer : “What other colors do you have?”

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

Teacher : “Sam, you talk a lot !”  
Sam : “It’s a family tradition”.  
Teacher : “What do you mean?”  
Sam : “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher”.  
Teacher : “What about your mother?”  
Sam : “She’s a woman”.

Tom : “How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?”  
David: “You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated”.

Teacher : “Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?”  
Student : “Brotherly love”.

Teacher : “Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”  
Sam : “No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook”.

Patient : “What are the chances of my recovering doctor?”  
Doctor : “One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died”.

Teacher : ” Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”  
One Student : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.”

Teacher : ” George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ?”  
One Student: ” Because George still had the axe in is hand.”