---
title: Latest Ah Beng Jokes
date: 2008-07-14 21:40:21
permalink: https://lesterchan.net/blog/2008/07/14/latest-ah-beng-jokes/
author: Lester Chan
categories:
  - Blog
tags:
  - ah beng
  - jokes
---

Just got this off my email entitled “Ah Beng Jokes – Latest”, thought I would like to share it with you all.

In Singapore, Ah beng literally means small time gangsters.

> Ah Beng bought a new mobile.  
> He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,  
> ‘My Mobile No. Has changed.  
> Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610’

> Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.  
> Friend: Really, what is he studying.  
> Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

> Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.  
> DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.  
> Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

> Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?  
> Wife: No! I’ll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?  
> Ah Beng : No, I’ll also stay with your sister.

> Ah Beng : People consider me as a ‘GOD’  
> Wife: How do you know??  
> Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today,! everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again.

> Ah Beng complained to the police: ‘Sir, all items are missing,  
> except the TV in my house.’  
> Police: ‘How the thief did not take TV?’  
> Ah Beng : ‘I was watching TV news…’

> Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying ‘Parking Fine’  
> He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole ‘Thanks for complement.’

> How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?  
> He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

> Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.  
> So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that  
> on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

> Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and  
> Says ‘Hello, how did you know I was here?’

> Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?  
> Man – This is a race, the winner will get the cup  
> Ah Beng – If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

> Teacher: ‘I killed a person’ convert this sentence into future tense  
> Ah Beng : The future tense is ‘u will go to jail’

> Ah Beng told his servant: ‘Go and water the plants!’  
> Servant: ‘It’s already raining.’  
> Ah Beng : ‘So what? Take an umbrella and go.’

> A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the evening and not in the morning?  
> Ah Beng replied : Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM.